mermaid-vision:

A man walks into a bar with an octopus under his arm. He sets it down on the bar and announces to all the patrons “I’ll bet you a twenty that my octopus can play any instrument you can throw at it.” One man takes the challenge, and happens to have his guitar with him, so he gives the instrument to the cephalopod. The octopus takes a moment to get acquainted with the guitar, turning it over in its arms, then picks it up and starts playing, Jimi Hendrix style. The guitarist is so amazed, he hands the man a $20 without complaint.
Another man comes spluttering up with his trumpet case in hand. “That was easy,” he says, “But let’s see your pet play brass!”
He passes the trumpet to the octopus, who takes only a moment to check the valves before holding the instrument up to it’s beak and giving Louis Armstrong a run for his money. The trumpeteer forks over his $20 in defeat, and stomps back to his barstool.
Finally, a brash Scottsman comes forward with a lumpy looking bundle under his arm. “Let’s see your wee sea creature play the bagpipes!” He exclaims. The man nods, and the Scottsman sets the pipes in front of the octopus. The octopus proceeds to take a much longer time examining the instrument than usual, turning it over and over, a look of wonder in its eyes. After about three minutes, the man comes over and whispers to the octopus “What’s wrong? We’re going to lose our bet if you just sit there. Can’t you play the bagpipes?” 
And the octopus whispers back, “Play it? I’m going to fuck it as soon as I can get its pajamas off!”